In this month of February, we typically think about VALENTINE’S Day and relationships we are in, or used to be or wish we could be.
This month I’m going to be talking about different aspects of relationships, the good the bad and the ugly. Mostly, I’m going to talk about how to make them better, stronger and more enjoyable to be in.
The first word and probably the most frequent word I will use to describe how to have healthy, comfortable, and sustaining relationships is respect. The reason I decided to write an entire book about respect is because as a therapist and in my own life, I am so aware of the impact genuine respect between partners can have and, conversely, how devastating and crumbling the lack of respect can be to any relationship.
Respect is more than a noun; it is also verb. It is action. The Latin origin of the word is “respectare,’ which means to look back or look again. To reconsider. How many times do we, and I mean all of us, charge on with our own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs without really considering these same things in those we love. It’s easy to get in a rut or a pattern and forget that there really is another perspective other than our own. It only takes a few minutes, with some practice, to refocus, reevaluate our intentions and how they come across to the one we love. We may not be mal-intentioned at all, but need to do a little fine tuning or clarification in our communication.
So when we’re out buying the obligatory flowers, chocolates and cards, maybe we can also think about a kind word or patient action that would touch their hearts in even a deeper place.
