My eldest niece is getting married today. I can’t believe it. She’s now 26, I think. I will always remember Katy as a little girl sitting on my lap, watching the fire works on the 4th of July.
When I got married almost 9 years ago—yikes!—Katy was one of my bridesmaids. At 17, she had the audacity to give me marital advice. It was this simple: always keep a sense of humor. I’ve been a marriage and family therapist for over 20 years, but that was far and away some of the best advice I’ve ever heard.
Does that mean laugh all your problems away? No, of course not. I’ve seen plenty of couples and families trying to nervously laugh and joke inappropriately through serious issues, as I have also witnessed passive-aggressive sarcasm, guised as humor, become vindictive and cruel. Humor should neither be evasive nor attacking.
What humor can do very effectively to enhance relationships, however, is to make for a more comfortable relaxed atmosphere in which it is easier to broche more difficult circumstances. Humor can provide safety for greater intimacy, so long as it is well spirited, light hearted, and genuinely based in love and respect.
So here’s to you, Katy! Smile, laugh till your sides hurt, and enjoy life every moment you possibly can.
