The family unit is in many ways simple and basic, and yet sometimes very complicated and difficult to understand. In the next few weeks I’m going to talk about some of these complexities and try to untangle some of the confusion that often bring people into my office.
So what is a family anyway? Parents and kids, right? What about grandparents, aunts uncles, cousins, in-laws, step-parents and children, half brothers and sisters and friends of the family you’ve always called aunt and uncle, but aren’t really? And what about your adoptive family vs. the family members you never met?
Growing up in our family of origin is what most of us base our understanding and beliefs about family on. Many relate to the “Leave It to Beaver” traditional family with working dad, stay at home mom and 2.5 kids. But many more today do not relate to that at all. Single parent, blended and re-blended families are much more common. As the configuration of each family unit changes and becomes less “definable,” so do the roles of all the individuals involved.
The primary purpose for a family remains the same. Safety, physical and emotional, is the number one function of the family, yet many fall short of supplying that. It isn’t just the configuration that alters that; it’s the people in that group called a family and the lessons beliefs and behaviors they bring to the family, and the organization and compatibility that is built as a result, that can create or destroy stability and safety.
In the next several weeks we’ll look at some of the critical factors that make families work better in providing for the most important needs of all of its members. Any ideas you have about how to improve family life or struggles you are having with this are welcome.
